I see what you’re trying to do here, but as a woman from Pakistan (which is basically India before they had a whole spat about religion and got a divorce), I feel the need to push back a little…
It might be easy for sexy, White, obedient trad wives to nab a great catch like JD Vance or Eric Weinstein, but it’s really tough out here for college educated, “mid looking”, brown gals like me. You have no idea how much I appreciate their PSA that Indian women come pre-packaged with parents who will provide free, on demand childcare (who needs an earned income tax credit when you can have in-laws from the subcontinent? In fact, if he and Vance had spread the word about this “odd, unadvertised benefit” 20 years ago, it would have changed the trajectory of my entire life!
Instead of pursuing a career I love or marrying a man who appreciated me for something other than my ovaries, I could be pestering my numerous children to get married and crank out some babies so my post menopausal body could do what God designed it to do!
OMG!!!! Thank you, I needed someone to explain to my old, tired, non reproductive menopausal body— what the hell i should do. Guess I’ll give up pointless rewarding job, my creative writing happiness, my mental health clarifying workout routines—- and wait for Mr. Vance Thank God, Mr. Vance has it covered. And thank you, Holly. I can sleep—- not sleep better now.
BTW I restocked your note twice- once with, once without a comment. That’s how overwrought this 75-year-old, waiting-to-die relic was!! (Who’s that guy draped in black, holding a sickle standing outside my window?)
Thank goodness he explained it. I was going to speak to my doctor about it but now I won't waste resources. As none of my children seem to be anywhere close to procreation I'll just sit in my recliner and waste away.
OMG - This is awesome! I'm one of those childless cat ladies that Vance has maligned. I guess since that means I don't have grandchilldren, I am no longer of any use to JD and the rest of his ilk now that I've completed menopause.
Do stray hairs that grow in odd places count too? I was just wondering if maybe that would somehow enable me to stay in my lane here. Because you know, someone has to cook, clean and do the laundry despite that fact we have outlived our usefulness. Funny because while my cadre of physicians couldn't mansplain my menopausal issues, Mr Vance managed to do it. Imagine that. Holly, you've outdone yourself once again.
Yes, it is brilliant satire, but it's also much closer to what reality would be like under a Dementia Donnie / Shay-D Vance administration.
This is my first time reading this blog so if this is supposed to be a lighthearted diversionary escape valve, I apologize for the grimness of my comments.
Dismissing Vance with a casual metaphor (his elevator doesn't go to the top floor, his chandelier is missing a few bulbs, he's five squares short of a bingo, etc) is a dangerous move. The wiring in his brain is severely screwed-up. The demented Neanderthal beliefs that are being uncovered by the digital excavators who specialize in finding these sound-bites, are just the tip of the iceberg. All of this is what's known right now; how much more of this depravity hasn't been discovered yet? And how much of this will become policy in a Trump/Vance administration? To pacify Trump, all you need to do is stick him in a room containing TV's tuned in to Fox "News", "News"Max, and Tucker Carlson. Vance will be running the country and implementing these policies with perverted delight.
Yes, I agree. I understand the reasoning behind JD’s talk. It’s wrapped up in evolutionary theory. But as enlightening as that science is, it’s a dangerous mistake to assume therefore humans must always remain the same. We’re constantly changing and evolving and are not slaves to evolution.
Holy Moley! I tried to google the term for this but nothing hit the spot. Tragicomedy? Dark Humor? It made me laugh out loud and was a gut punch simultaneously. So THANK YOU once again for getting it and delivering it. You are a favorite in my inbox!
Definitely! I mean the beginning was first rate satire but I can’t think of anyone who could segue from that in to a mock “Apprentice” type discussion between JD Vance and “the menopausal body”!!! I had to go back and make sure I was interpreting “MB” correctly and that’s actually what you were doing! 😂
Humor like that is super rare and is either the sign of a truly gifted writer or someone who had an interesting experience with ketamine. Either way it’s definitely in a class by itself!
Aug 17·edited Aug 17Liked by Holly Berkley Fletcher
When someone explains the purpose of a biological process or function, it often tells as much about themselves as about the body. We all can agree that bodies age, and if women can no longer bear children, men too lose muscle mass, hair, and erections. In most traditional societies, those who age are valued for their experience and knowledge, so young women seek their mother's advice re pregnancy and childbirth. Men too seek the council of their fathers or uncles. My father died when I was 20 and so I missed his advice.
But for JD Vance he has take an entirely different tack - instead of honoring those who age, he consigns older women to the trash heap.
But as an older man. I suggest that JD is young with a quick mind but he seems to take all the wrong lessons. In a better world, he would spend another decade of two learning about the world from a valued mentor. In our terrible present, JD has a chance to be VP.
Her article brings to mind this story I read yesterday about how auto crash tests only use male dummies. When they want to test impact on a female body, they use a male dummy that's 4'11" and 108 pounds. They never test that dummy in the driver's seat, either.
I see what you’re trying to do here, but as a woman from Pakistan (which is basically India before they had a whole spat about religion and got a divorce), I feel the need to push back a little…
It might be easy for sexy, White, obedient trad wives to nab a great catch like JD Vance or Eric Weinstein, but it’s really tough out here for college educated, “mid looking”, brown gals like me. You have no idea how much I appreciate their PSA that Indian women come pre-packaged with parents who will provide free, on demand childcare (who needs an earned income tax credit when you can have in-laws from the subcontinent? In fact, if he and Vance had spread the word about this “odd, unadvertised benefit” 20 years ago, it would have changed the trajectory of my entire life!
Instead of pursuing a career I love or marrying a man who appreciated me for something other than my ovaries, I could be pestering my numerous children to get married and crank out some babies so my post menopausal body could do what God designed it to do!
Yes jd vance such a great catch 🙃
Tooooo funny! Well done.
OMG!!!! Thank you, I needed someone to explain to my old, tired, non reproductive menopausal body— what the hell i should do. Guess I’ll give up pointless rewarding job, my creative writing happiness, my mental health clarifying workout routines—- and wait for Mr. Vance Thank God, Mr. Vance has it covered. And thank you, Holly. I can sleep—- not sleep better now.
you are not supposed to sleep. you are supposed to die. :)
Keep that sense of humor- it’s critical.
BTW I restocked your note twice- once with, once without a comment. That’s how overwrought this 75-year-old, waiting-to-die relic was!! (Who’s that guy draped in black, holding a sickle standing outside my window?)
Be sure to stock the freezer with meals before you go
…and mop the kitchen floor, damnit!
I keep forgetting! Thanks!
Really brilliant satire! Thank you!! Love your work!
Ingenious! This “I do yoga and read Brene Brown” caused me to choke on my coffee! Must go now and find a pasture in which to spend my final moments.
Same!
Thank goodness he explained it. I was going to speak to my doctor about it but now I won't waste resources. As none of my children seem to be anywhere close to procreation I'll just sit in my recliner and waste away.
Also, I actually hate this man.
So incredible. I was reading it and hubs ran in with his iPad to share it with me. Even better read out loud.
Seriously though, if I were his MIL, I’d be plotting.
OMG - This is awesome! I'm one of those childless cat ladies that Vance has maligned. I guess since that means I don't have grandchilldren, I am no longer of any use to JD and the rest of his ilk now that I've completed menopause.
no use to jd: who the h cares abt him or them, they're no use to US 😄
Do stray hairs that grow in odd places count too? I was just wondering if maybe that would somehow enable me to stay in my lane here. Because you know, someone has to cook, clean and do the laundry despite that fact we have outlived our usefulness. Funny because while my cadre of physicians couldn't mansplain my menopausal issues, Mr Vance managed to do it. Imagine that. Holly, you've outdone yourself once again.
Holly, this was hysterical! Unfortunately it may be exactly the way that JD Vance and a number of other MAGA males are secretly thinking. Thank you!
not so secret now, they keep saying out loud, in public 🤡
brilliant satire! well done.
Yes, it is brilliant satire, but it's also much closer to what reality would be like under a Dementia Donnie / Shay-D Vance administration.
This is my first time reading this blog so if this is supposed to be a lighthearted diversionary escape valve, I apologize for the grimness of my comments.
Dismissing Vance with a casual metaphor (his elevator doesn't go to the top floor, his chandelier is missing a few bulbs, he's five squares short of a bingo, etc) is a dangerous move. The wiring in his brain is severely screwed-up. The demented Neanderthal beliefs that are being uncovered by the digital excavators who specialize in finding these sound-bites, are just the tip of the iceberg. All of this is what's known right now; how much more of this depravity hasn't been discovered yet? And how much of this will become policy in a Trump/Vance administration? To pacify Trump, all you need to do is stick him in a room containing TV's tuned in to Fox "News", "News"Max, and Tucker Carlson. Vance will be running the country and implementing these policies with perverted delight.
Dude. Seriously, no offense, but do you really need to mansplain women’s reality to women? We understand what 👏🏻is 👏🏻at 👏🏻stake👏🏻here!
Yes, I agree. I understand the reasoning behind JD’s talk. It’s wrapped up in evolutionary theory. But as enlightening as that science is, it’s a dangerous mistake to assume therefore humans must always remain the same. We’re constantly changing and evolving and are not slaves to evolution.
This man is about as sad and dangerous as hell!
Holy Moley! I tried to google the term for this but nothing hit the spot. Tragicomedy? Dark Humor? It made me laugh out loud and was a gut punch simultaneously. So THANK YOU once again for getting it and delivering it. You are a favorite in my inbox!
I think ‘Holly Humor’ is its own genre
Is that a compliment 🤪
Definitely! I mean the beginning was first rate satire but I can’t think of anyone who could segue from that in to a mock “Apprentice” type discussion between JD Vance and “the menopausal body”!!! I had to go back and make sure I was interpreting “MB” correctly and that’s actually what you were doing! 😂
Humor like that is super rare and is either the sign of a truly gifted writer or someone who had an interesting experience with ketamine. Either way it’s definitely in a class by itself!
biting sarcasm, love it
When someone explains the purpose of a biological process or function, it often tells as much about themselves as about the body. We all can agree that bodies age, and if women can no longer bear children, men too lose muscle mass, hair, and erections. In most traditional societies, those who age are valued for their experience and knowledge, so young women seek their mother's advice re pregnancy and childbirth. Men too seek the council of their fathers or uncles. My father died when I was 20 and so I missed his advice.
But for JD Vance he has take an entirely different tack - instead of honoring those who age, he consigns older women to the trash heap.
But as an older man. I suggest that JD is young with a quick mind but he seems to take all the wrong lessons. In a better world, he would spend another decade of two learning about the world from a valued mentor. In our terrible present, JD has a chance to be VP.
Holly you are just the best! I was baking my granddaughters birthday cake and thinking this is what post menopausal women do…
“Older breasts may no longer produce milk, but they are very low and flat, making them ideal swaddle blankets.” Yes! 🤣🤣🤣
Here's another take from Alexandra Petri of Washington Post: https://wapo.st/3MbaB8K.
Her article brings to mind this story I read yesterday about how auto crash tests only use male dummies. When they want to test impact on a female body, they use a male dummy that's 4'11" and 108 pounds. They never test that dummy in the driver's seat, either.
So this may explain why women are 17 percent more likely to die and 73 percent more likely to suffer severe injuries in car crashes. (https://usa.streetsblog.org/2024/08/15/qa-tell-congress-to-require-female-crash-test-dummies)
Another potential use for postmenopausal women, especially those with no grandchildren to nurture?
Such a great idea…