24 Comments
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Irene Schindler's avatar

You always make me smile… but your first paragraph here…. Killer! love it… I guffawed! I think that’s the word… meaning… hearty laugh.

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Irene Schindler's avatar

It just gets better! Thank you!!!! God, sometimes I think I’m crazy… and you remind me, nope! You’re not

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Holly Berkley Fletcher's avatar

well I am certifiable, can't speak for you.

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Bonnie Sommer's avatar

Then we all are. And happier for it.

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Laura Garrity's avatar

Thank you for putting my thoughts into words! Well done!

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Linda S Clare's avatar

LMAO. If he turned just so (maybe an elegant 3/4 pose?) you could see slime oozing off the scales. Round here we crown slugs (See: Eugene's Slug Queen), but for this one we'll be wearing our stilettoes, the better to squish. Oh, did I offend anyone by advocating such violence? My cats eat slugs for breakfast. Good work, Hollie. Why aren't you on TV? ~Linda @ The Deep End

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M. Trosino's avatar

RE: Those cookies and "I baked them myself because I care so much about America and our women and children and cats."

And also, because after seeing him in action in that donut shop, the cookie shop owners took pity on their employees and refused to let him through the door...

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/M__GVAqEPXM

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Holly Berkley Fletcher's avatar

😂

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Bonnie Sommer's avatar

Oh, Holly, you’ve done it again. Thank you!

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Maggie's avatar

Now I am at peace as I await my post-menopausal-future of providing unpaid childcare.

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Holly Berkley Fletcher's avatar

It’s been your destiny this whole time

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Liz Cooledge Jenkins's avatar

Nailed it!!

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Rachel's avatar

The only thing I could think when he was talking was, "douche frat boy". As usual, hilarious writing.

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Sally French Wessely's avatar

Brilliant.

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Irene Schindler's avatar

Love this piece! Thank you!!!!

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Donna Lohr's avatar

My first time reading and so happy I stumbled upon you.

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Michele Lott's avatar

I’ve always thought of Vance as boyishly (as in arrested development) unctuous, feigning then thrusting his real dystopian take on America. Must be from all that butter used to make those cookies.

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Deborah T's avatar

Great piece!! 😃

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Cynthia Miller's avatar

Brilliant as always Holly! You have a gift for satire that delivers searing truths deliciously!

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Sara's avatar

Far too accurate!!!

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