What a wonderful essay! And, Holly, your ability to hurt yourself has some serious competition coming from me, a person who once cut her tongue on a potato chip. When I told my dentist about this shortly after it happened, he thoughtfully said, “That’s a new one on me.”
Wow! I loved this. Here I am, reading and laughing, and suddenly I’m reading the best advice about relationships that I’ve seen in a long, long time. Thank you, Holly.
My nuclear family is going to Europe in July, my first time. I am already trying to tamp down my expectations and type A personality. But I got my passport at Thanksgiving, my husband just applied for one. We haven’t booked a hotel or flights - it’s less than 4 months away!
I have a feeling in August my kids will be writing a post on social media how their wonderful mom turned into vacationzilla
Wise words my friend, wise words. Let me just tattoo those right on my forehead right now. Having been there and done that, I had come to the same conclusion, even when I expressed a direct and simple need. But you are ever so right about how we choose to see it, what we do with it and how we respond to it. And sometimes it just isn't always about us. I try to factor that into the equation too. It's all a learning experience. I'm rambling once again. ( Not because I had a flashback to my snowboarding injury that happened on vacation 20 years ago and today my shoulder is acting up.... just sayin')
Ok, so this is weird, but I am going to quote you in your own comments section. Because this is the wisest thing I’ve ever seen on the internet.
“But every expectation we present to other people contain the seeds of disappointment. And at the end of the day, even getting our most basic expectations of others met are our own responsibility. You can only communicate what you need and what is important to you and how another person’s actions make you feel. But then it’s on you to decide if their response to that is something you can live with. Sometimes if someone is not treating us well, the best thing we can do is accept that they can’t meet our expectations and to move on with our lives. You absolutely cannot change or control people. That is one of my most important discoveries in life.”
I really needed to hear this today…on a family vacation that is one disappointment after another with family I dearly love but those darned expectations are being shattered all the way around…
What a wonderful essay! And, Holly, your ability to hurt yourself has some serious competition coming from me, a person who once cut her tongue on a potato chip. When I told my dentist about this shortly after it happened, he thoughtfully said, “That’s a new one on me.”
Wow! I loved this. Here I am, reading and laughing, and suddenly I’m reading the best advice about relationships that I’ve seen in a long, long time. Thank you, Holly.
The panda going downhill was everything!
My nuclear family is going to Europe in July, my first time. I am already trying to tamp down my expectations and type A personality. But I got my passport at Thanksgiving, my husband just applied for one. We haven’t booked a hotel or flights - it’s less than 4 months away!
I have a feeling in August my kids will be writing a post on social media how their wonderful mom turned into vacationzilla
So good. And lordy I am glad I didn't marry a skier
Wise words my friend, wise words. Let me just tattoo those right on my forehead right now. Having been there and done that, I had come to the same conclusion, even when I expressed a direct and simple need. But you are ever so right about how we choose to see it, what we do with it and how we respond to it. And sometimes it just isn't always about us. I try to factor that into the equation too. It's all a learning experience. I'm rambling once again. ( Not because I had a flashback to my snowboarding injury that happened on vacation 20 years ago and today my shoulder is acting up.... just sayin')
The best essay I may ever have read about the emotional prison expectations can be. Thanks
Ok, so this is weird, but I am going to quote you in your own comments section. Because this is the wisest thing I’ve ever seen on the internet.
“But every expectation we present to other people contain the seeds of disappointment. And at the end of the day, even getting our most basic expectations of others met are our own responsibility. You can only communicate what you need and what is important to you and how another person’s actions make you feel. But then it’s on you to decide if their response to that is something you can live with. Sometimes if someone is not treating us well, the best thing we can do is accept that they can’t meet our expectations and to move on with our lives. You absolutely cannot change or control people. That is one of my most important discoveries in life.”
Just, wow! Thanks.
I really needed to hear this today…on a family vacation that is one disappointment after another with family I dearly love but those darned expectations are being shattered all the way around…