As a bladder cancer survivor who has a urostomy bag, I appreciate your comments re peeing. I have to be careful while emptying my bag to ensure that the cat or dog doesn't push open the bathroom door and cause me to turn so that I hit to the left of the potty. It's an adventure.
I did finally learn to use an external device, and found it really helped to keep my boots dry- but I always did find it more useful to find a sloping area in any event. Gravity can be helpful!
I’ve been offline for a while trying to deal with mental and physical health issues and the various dramas the universe keeps hurling at me and haven’t really kept up with substack. I’d forgotten how amazing your writing was! I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants;)
Hysterical! Oh, the challenges women face just to pee. Much less outdoors. Reading this I had a flashback to some 30 years ago going through Wilderness training, in Alaska...in January (-10) for a week, with a 40 lb ruck on my back along with a pair of snowshoes and cross country skis. Having to constantly hydrate = pee time and had to peel off those layers of clothing and not pee on my VB boots. Good times!
I own a pStyle. (Pun on "freestyle" – geddit? Geddit?) Which I haven't practiced with enough with to use in the wild. pStyle says it's "easy to use while clothed" – but also that you should practice enough before you do. (More specifically, "You can perfect your technique in the shower.") Gradations of easy, I guess.
pStyle would also like us to know it's available in bulk and through various retailers – which it inexplicably does not call pTailers: https://www.thepstyle.com/
I love you! I have, for years, resisted my husband’s and son’s pleas to learn and play golf with them. I conveniently hid behind “that’s not even a sport.” All because I feared being on hole 10 and needing a bathroom, with none in sight, for my uncontrollable bladder. So, a few weeks ago while my family and our forever beach friends were in OBX, I insisted on (trying) to play. I laughed so hard (without any leakage) and had such fun that I’m going to continue trying to play.
It's too bad I couldn't have suggested this sooner but pants from Chickfly ( www.chickfly.com ) might have solved your problem, but I can only deduce that you'd have to go commando while wearing them.
Loved the segue to our next President of these United States.
As a bladder cancer survivor who has a urostomy bag, I appreciate your comments re peeing. I have to be careful while emptying my bag to ensure that the cat or dog doesn't push open the bathroom door and cause me to turn so that I hit to the left of the potty. It's an adventure.
Bless you! That's a whole other level of peeing! Super hero!
This was very good. Amusing, educational,…and your end turn into politics was a deft pivot. Well done!
I did finally learn to use an external device, and found it really helped to keep my boots dry- but I always did find it more useful to find a sloping area in any event. Gravity can be helpful!
Great story- I laughed a lot!
I’ve been offline for a while trying to deal with mental and physical health issues and the various dramas the universe keeps hurling at me and haven’t really kept up with substack. I’d forgotten how amazing your writing was! I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants;)
Thank you, Holly. I really needed this today!
As always, your story made me smile, especially since it brought to mind how often I told my daughters “Life isn’t fair,” when they were growing up.
Then I got to the last section and my smile turned into a huge grin and tears of joy. Thank you.
YES!!!
Hysterical! Oh, the challenges women face just to pee. Much less outdoors. Reading this I had a flashback to some 30 years ago going through Wilderness training, in Alaska...in January (-10) for a week, with a 40 lb ruck on my back along with a pair of snowshoes and cross country skis. Having to constantly hydrate = pee time and had to peel off those layers of clothing and not pee on my VB boots. Good times!
Confession:
I own a pStyle. (Pun on "freestyle" – geddit? Geddit?) Which I haven't practiced with enough with to use in the wild. pStyle says it's "easy to use while clothed" – but also that you should practice enough before you do. (More specifically, "You can perfect your technique in the shower.") Gradations of easy, I guess.
pStyle would also like us to know it's available in bulk and through various retailers – which it inexplicably does not call pTailers: https://www.thepstyle.com/
Godspeed in your quest to master a fake penis. LOL
Would it be wrong for me to say I envy you your writing skills?
Brilliant!
I love you! I have, for years, resisted my husband’s and son’s pleas to learn and play golf with them. I conveniently hid behind “that’s not even a sport.” All because I feared being on hole 10 and needing a bathroom, with none in sight, for my uncontrollable bladder. So, a few weeks ago while my family and our forever beach friends were in OBX, I insisted on (trying) to play. I laughed so hard (without any leakage) and had such fun that I’m going to continue trying to play.
It's too bad I couldn't have suggested this sooner but pants from Chickfly ( www.chickfly.com ) might have solved your problem, but I can only deduce that you'd have to go commando while wearing them.
https://youtu.be/yMQhXc1dHIQ?si=9MMGcNc9-9_5eq56
Well this would have been very good info a few weeks ago LOL Very good invention. very good. Why did I not think of this.
Love it, Holly!
Oddly, I have never found out how my wife relieves herself even though we have hiked for hull days. No devices in any case.
Amen sister! We are gonna let our female freak flags fly!