Holly! As an ex-evangelical MK from francophone Africa, the good news (Gospel) is that:
1. You will live post publication of "The Missionary Kids." (Just had to say it tho you already know it.) In 1983 I left evangelicalism after only 1 semester in the Garrett-Northwestern University PhD program in Religion. It took but 16 weeks to get my prior 7 years of evangelical theological sh*t kicked out of me (biblical inerrancy, religious exclusivism - we alone are saved, patriarchy, etc). It was very painful - but - I survived, including the loss of a $25,000 a year scholarship from the Billy Graham Foundation; strained and severed relationships with my prior evangelical local church, missions & theology professors; and above all, the deep, deep disappointment of my father (who at the time directed one of the largest U.S. evangelical missions agencies in the U.S.). Dad was crushed that I would not be following in his footsteps as a missionary in Africa. However, all that backlash paled in significance to the backlash I and a small group of alums from Mamou Alliance Academy MK boarding school received when in 1995 we publicly (globally) exposed decades of horrific abuse at our school. (Your book shares some of this and related stories.) The backlash continued (and continues) after we created Missionary Kid Safety Net (MKSN) to assist MKs hurt by their missions experiences. Yet, I must say that revealing the rotten underbelly of evangelical missions has been well worth it as we have told our truths and assisted others' healing. "The Missionary Kids" will certainly do the same. Nothing beats truth and integrity!
2: As a scholar/practitioner with both my MDiv and ThD degrees majoring in missiology (study of missions), congratulations for researching and writing a personal yet scholarly book that is certainly unique. What is so unique is that you examine and critique U.S. evangelicalism through the lens of MK experiences and the everyday life of evangelical missionaries. This simply has not been done before! I predict that "The Missionary Kids" will stimulate a flurry of academic studies (articles, books) in many fields, especially missiology, church history, U.S. and global history. And, it will stimulate a lot of "interesting" conversations within missionary families, the evangelical missions system, and evangelical schools. You've done the academy and the church a great service, Holly.
I want to be among the first to congratulate you on your new book and I am really looking forward to reading the actual book instead of information about the book. I admire you for taking the risk to face the backlash to present what is below the surface. I have experienced this uncomfortable criticism myself as I talk about MKs in my writings and speaking gigs, it's hard! Hang in there and if you need me to picket with my sign, "Honk if you love Holly's writings", I will be there! I am an MK from WAY BACK.
Oh I am already public in support of her writing and stand. I have had several reach out to me and ask me what I thought about her blogs etc and I consistently give her a TEN on a scale of 1 to 10. She has real credibility.
As an MK myself (and child of MKs) I salute your bravery in writing this book. There is no way in hell you could have written anything with even a soupçon of criticism where you wouldn't have called down an avalanche of opprobrium on yourself. North American white evangelicalism does not as a whole accept criticism well. Being immured in the doctrine of infallibility seems to make them feel like everything they do/say/think/feel is also protected by infallibility.
On your point about individual missionaries themselves going through a maturing process. On our mission field (such an evangelical term!) it was pretty much accepted how much more "liberal" missionaries were than the pastors and churches in the States and Canada.
And I loved my childhood, too. It gave me an expansive view of the world I would not have had otherwise; I traveled and lived in many countries; was exposed to different cultures (and in a good way not a denigrating way - probably a result of my parents also being MKs). And... it fucked me up royally in other ways that I continue to deal with and will deal with my whole life.
Also, I understand why you had to write this book at this time. The blindness/narrow mindedness/myopia of white North American evangelicals has done irrevocable harm around the world in spite of also doing good and now that harm is being done to the US and thereby the world writ large. It is the same sense of infallibility, I think, that allows them to see what is happening and to be okay with it. I have relatives who I would have always thought were good, kind people who have totally bought into the Trump schtick. I don't talk to them about it and don't know how they live with themselves.
Thank you for writing this book and I hope you are able to create a cone of light protection around yourself where the slings and arrows bounce off harmlessly.
You know who else made a lot of enemies in his day? Jesus Christ, that's who. And why did he have so many enemies? Because he held up a mirror and a lot of people didn't like what they saw, and blamed him for showing them who they were. The meek, the poor and the oppressed could take comfort from his words, but his message to the Scribes and the Pharisees, and the rich and powerful was "You think you're all that, but let me tell you, you need to work on yourselves. Ever heard of introspection? Humility? Compassion? Didn't think so. Don't come around me acting all high and mighty until you've made at least a tiny effort to do better." (KJV)
I'm an arsehole every time I yell at cars speeding, running red lights or otherwise behaving badly on my neighborhood. (I even wrote a post about it, imagining how my grandson would remember me when I'm gone.)
At the same time I'm an effective advocate for traffic calming in my city and can only hope the work we're doing today will mean safer streets for my grandson and his children after I'm gone, since I've pretty much given up on achieving Amsterdam in my city in my lifetime :-)
You're doing good work and I appreciate your speaking up about your own experiences. Sometimes moral clarity is real and not delusion. I hope knowing you come from that place will help you as the inevitable criticism comes in.
I’m not an evangelical, but I admire intellectual honesty wherever it can be found, which as a mainstream Christian of more than 40 years of adulthood, I have not found often enough in Christian circles. I can tell that your book and your ethos is for honesty. Thank you for your hard work and contribution to our human dialogue. I hope to find time to read your account of an experience and community I know not of.
I have just plowed through a long thread of shocking push-back about your book on one of the MK social media sites. It's sad but it is also pretty impressive. All that wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth has made you (in)famous for something you haven't even done yet! Be of good courage, stand tall and, as you said, let the chips fall.
It felt like the responses were sadly predictable, but for every naysayer though, it seems like my second post garnered interest in the book. I’ll be buying a copy for my mother and sister who are still in the Philippines doing the work they’ve been doing for the last 35 years.
Thank you for your insight, wisdom and wit – here’s hoping they earn you the accolades (and income) on par with the mountains of work you’ve been doing. Above all, thank you for your bravery. Your willingness to knowingly “fall on the sword” for a cause you believe in deeply is truly awe-inspiring.
On the flipside, curse you for my future inability to not imagine all the misogynistic “Theobros” eating hairballs. Because, eww.
Holly, thank you for writing. I grew up evangelical and always felt that I was not complete in God’s eyes because I never went on a mission. Thankfully, the church threw me out (with my parents approval) during my high school years. It forced me to deconstruct . I know people who tell me they want to write a memoir about their time about being a MK, especially the confusion. I look forward to reading your book.
Well. If people are gonna hate hate hate hate, then you must be doing something right. For the deconstructionist community, I think you are doing a giant service and giving hope to those who are exangel-curious. MKs are a lot like PKs who are a lot like those of us who had weird childhoods but lived to tell about it. Congrats, sell a boatload. And may you make a little money too (wishful thinking? I hope not!) Yours on the tough but rewarding writing road, Linda Clare
Thank you, Holly. As a life long inhabitant of your prior world and life(72 year old white male Texan, BGCT/SBC churches, thank you for writing this. As the son and grandson (mom’s dad—so both sides!)of a Baptist pastor, and nephew of SBC missionaries (Taiwan on dad’s side) and Brazil and then Portugal on mom’s side, I look forward to your book. I have 7 cousins who grew up as MK’s.
While I know there are plenty of missionaries and MK’s, who have “Issues” of various stripes and severity, as you say, I agree one million percent that the stateside church has been damaged by its idol worship of the “missionary enterprise “ and our moral and spiritual superiority because of it. The Baptists in particular and all missionary senders are SO proud of themselves… obnoxiously so.
Anyway, good for you to “prebut” the critics. I am sure there may be something I do not agree with too, but your explanation today was great.
You wrote (and write) from your heart. In doing so, there will be strong statements that don't resonate with everyone. You are starting a broader conversation about the challenges within the evangelical churches and missions that have the potential to bring real healing for those who need it, and potential reflection for all. Stand firm and keep following your heart ❤️
Holly! As an ex-evangelical MK from francophone Africa, the good news (Gospel) is that:
1. You will live post publication of "The Missionary Kids." (Just had to say it tho you already know it.) In 1983 I left evangelicalism after only 1 semester in the Garrett-Northwestern University PhD program in Religion. It took but 16 weeks to get my prior 7 years of evangelical theological sh*t kicked out of me (biblical inerrancy, religious exclusivism - we alone are saved, patriarchy, etc). It was very painful - but - I survived, including the loss of a $25,000 a year scholarship from the Billy Graham Foundation; strained and severed relationships with my prior evangelical local church, missions & theology professors; and above all, the deep, deep disappointment of my father (who at the time directed one of the largest U.S. evangelical missions agencies in the U.S.). Dad was crushed that I would not be following in his footsteps as a missionary in Africa. However, all that backlash paled in significance to the backlash I and a small group of alums from Mamou Alliance Academy MK boarding school received when in 1995 we publicly (globally) exposed decades of horrific abuse at our school. (Your book shares some of this and related stories.) The backlash continued (and continues) after we created Missionary Kid Safety Net (MKSN) to assist MKs hurt by their missions experiences. Yet, I must say that revealing the rotten underbelly of evangelical missions has been well worth it as we have told our truths and assisted others' healing. "The Missionary Kids" will certainly do the same. Nothing beats truth and integrity!
2: As a scholar/practitioner with both my MDiv and ThD degrees majoring in missiology (study of missions), congratulations for researching and writing a personal yet scholarly book that is certainly unique. What is so unique is that you examine and critique U.S. evangelicalism through the lens of MK experiences and the everyday life of evangelical missionaries. This simply has not been done before! I predict that "The Missionary Kids" will stimulate a flurry of academic studies (articles, books) in many fields, especially missiology, church history, U.S. and global history. And, it will stimulate a lot of "interesting" conversations within missionary families, the evangelical missions system, and evangelical schools. You've done the academy and the church a great service, Holly.
Thank you - Rich Darr
Retired United Methodist clergy, Co-founder MKSN
You guys are the best. You and the MKSN team have been a huge source of strength and inspiration for me, and you will continue to be.
I want to be among the first to congratulate you on your new book and I am really looking forward to reading the actual book instead of information about the book. I admire you for taking the risk to face the backlash to present what is below the surface. I have experienced this uncomfortable criticism myself as I talk about MKs in my writings and speaking gigs, it's hard! Hang in there and if you need me to picket with my sign, "Honk if you love Holly's writings", I will be there! I am an MK from WAY BACK.
lol THANK YOU dear Lois. Thank you.
Let me know if you go public in support of Holly. I'll be right there beside you!
Oh I am already public in support of her writing and stand. I have had several reach out to me and ask me what I thought about her blogs etc and I consistently give her a TEN on a scale of 1 to 10. She has real credibility.
Thank you. For your honesty, brilliance, humor, and putting your words out there to bend the arc.
As an MK myself (and child of MKs) I salute your bravery in writing this book. There is no way in hell you could have written anything with even a soupçon of criticism where you wouldn't have called down an avalanche of opprobrium on yourself. North American white evangelicalism does not as a whole accept criticism well. Being immured in the doctrine of infallibility seems to make them feel like everything they do/say/think/feel is also protected by infallibility.
On your point about individual missionaries themselves going through a maturing process. On our mission field (such an evangelical term!) it was pretty much accepted how much more "liberal" missionaries were than the pastors and churches in the States and Canada.
And I loved my childhood, too. It gave me an expansive view of the world I would not have had otherwise; I traveled and lived in many countries; was exposed to different cultures (and in a good way not a denigrating way - probably a result of my parents also being MKs). And... it fucked me up royally in other ways that I continue to deal with and will deal with my whole life.
Also, I understand why you had to write this book at this time. The blindness/narrow mindedness/myopia of white North American evangelicals has done irrevocable harm around the world in spite of also doing good and now that harm is being done to the US and thereby the world writ large. It is the same sense of infallibility, I think, that allows them to see what is happening and to be okay with it. I have relatives who I would have always thought were good, kind people who have totally bought into the Trump schtick. I don't talk to them about it and don't know how they live with themselves.
Thank you for writing this book and I hope you are able to create a cone of light protection around yourself where the slings and arrows bounce off harmlessly.
You are right about the infallibility. bingo.
You know who else made a lot of enemies in his day? Jesus Christ, that's who. And why did he have so many enemies? Because he held up a mirror and a lot of people didn't like what they saw, and blamed him for showing them who they were. The meek, the poor and the oppressed could take comfort from his words, but his message to the Scribes and the Pharisees, and the rich and powerful was "You think you're all that, but let me tell you, you need to work on yourselves. Ever heard of introspection? Humility? Compassion? Didn't think so. Don't come around me acting all high and mighty until you've made at least a tiny effort to do better." (KJV)
I hear what you're saying, and hope this is what I'm going. But sometimes you make enemies just by being an a**hole....
I'm an arsehole every time I yell at cars speeding, running red lights or otherwise behaving badly on my neighborhood. (I even wrote a post about it, imagining how my grandson would remember me when I'm gone.)
At the same time I'm an effective advocate for traffic calming in my city and can only hope the work we're doing today will mean safer streets for my grandson and his children after I'm gone, since I've pretty much given up on achieving Amsterdam in my city in my lifetime :-)
You're doing good work and I appreciate your speaking up about your own experiences. Sometimes moral clarity is real and not delusion. I hope knowing you come from that place will help you as the inevitable criticism comes in.
I guess we're all a**holes to some extent. Recognizing it in oneself and trying to do better is probably the best we can do.
I'm so inspired by your honesty and reflection, just in your newsletter. I've added your book to my TBR. Indeed: may it help to transform us all.
I’m not an evangelical, but I admire intellectual honesty wherever it can be found, which as a mainstream Christian of more than 40 years of adulthood, I have not found often enough in Christian circles. I can tell that your book and your ethos is for honesty. Thank you for your hard work and contribution to our human dialogue. I hope to find time to read your account of an experience and community I know not of.
Just pre-ordered. ❤️
Me too.
I have just plowed through a long thread of shocking push-back about your book on one of the MK social media sites. It's sad but it is also pretty impressive. All that wringing of hands and gnashing of teeth has made you (in)famous for something you haven't even done yet! Be of good courage, stand tall and, as you said, let the chips fall.
It felt like the responses were sadly predictable, but for every naysayer though, it seems like my second post garnered interest in the book. I’ll be buying a copy for my mother and sister who are still in the Philippines doing the work they’ve been doing for the last 35 years.
Thank you for your insight, wisdom and wit – here’s hoping they earn you the accolades (and income) on par with the mountains of work you’ve been doing. Above all, thank you for your bravery. Your willingness to knowingly “fall on the sword” for a cause you believe in deeply is truly awe-inspiring.
On the flipside, curse you for my future inability to not imagine all the misogynistic “Theobros” eating hairballs. Because, eww.
"I love to write."
Are you okay? Or is this a cry for help?
Holly, thank you for writing. I grew up evangelical and always felt that I was not complete in God’s eyes because I never went on a mission. Thankfully, the church threw me out (with my parents approval) during my high school years. It forced me to deconstruct . I know people who tell me they want to write a memoir about their time about being a MK, especially the confusion. I look forward to reading your book.
Well. If people are gonna hate hate hate hate, then you must be doing something right. For the deconstructionist community, I think you are doing a giant service and giving hope to those who are exangel-curious. MKs are a lot like PKs who are a lot like those of us who had weird childhoods but lived to tell about it. Congrats, sell a boatload. And may you make a little money too (wishful thinking? I hope not!) Yours on the tough but rewarding writing road, Linda Clare
Thank you, Holly. As a life long inhabitant of your prior world and life(72 year old white male Texan, BGCT/SBC churches, thank you for writing this. As the son and grandson (mom’s dad—so both sides!)of a Baptist pastor, and nephew of SBC missionaries (Taiwan on dad’s side) and Brazil and then Portugal on mom’s side, I look forward to your book. I have 7 cousins who grew up as MK’s.
While I know there are plenty of missionaries and MK’s, who have “Issues” of various stripes and severity, as you say, I agree one million percent that the stateside church has been damaged by its idol worship of the “missionary enterprise “ and our moral and spiritual superiority because of it. The Baptists in particular and all missionary senders are SO proud of themselves… obnoxiously so.
Anyway, good for you to “prebut” the critics. I am sure there may be something I do not agree with too, but your explanation today was great.
And because of your demonstrated good faith, I sincerely would love to hear about what you disagree with!
You wrote (and write) from your heart. In doing so, there will be strong statements that don't resonate with everyone. You are starting a broader conversation about the challenges within the evangelical churches and missions that have the potential to bring real healing for those who need it, and potential reflection for all. Stand firm and keep following your heart ❤️
Can't wait to read your book, Holly! May it open eyes and hearts.